True Bread

John 6:27-40

27Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For it is on him that God the Father has set his seal.’ 28Then they said to him, ‘What must we do to perform the works of God?’ 29Jesus answered them, ‘This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.’ 30So they said to him, ‘What sign are you going to give us then, so that we may see it and believe you? What work are you performing? 31Our ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written, “He gave them bread from heaven to eat.” ’ 32Then Jesus said to them, ‘Very truly, I tell you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. 33For the bread of God is that which* comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.’ 34They said to him, ‘Sir, give us this bread always.’ 35 Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.36But I said to you that you have seen me and yet do not believe.37Everything that the Father gives me will come to me, and anyone who comes to me I will never drive away; 38for I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of him who sent me. 39And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day. 40This is indeed the will of my Father, that all who see the Son and believe in him may have eternal life; and I will raise them up on the last day.’

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What has touched me most in this passage is the distinction between the "true bread" that Christ offers vs. the other places sustenance is sought in the world. I find this vivid distinction quite common to much of my experience. Jesus promises us "true bread" and an offer of eternal life, quenching all thirst and hunger. I am so very touched by this, as I find that when I fall astray in my life, I so often find naught else except dust. In my weakness, as I seek power, or selfishness, worldly riches, or earthly pleasures I always find myself still empty and yearning for more. What I had thought would make me whole proves to disappoint time and time again. This object of my base desires, turns out to be not in fact what I had set out to find: it was not the cure to my ills, or even a the great shiny reward I had expected. And there I sit, confused, disappointed and filled with regret at my folly. For all that I found was an object in which I had misplaced a desire for something else...something far greater. "I was just so lonely, and really wanted to feel loved." "I just wanted to feel proud of myself." "I just wanted to feel like I'd achieved something great." "I was just busying myself to avoid my own demons." All of these have rung true at some point or another as honest motivations, though manifested in folly and the drinking of sand. I feel like a starving man, chomping on some dirt, only to realize wood doesn't taste so good..."What in the world was I thinking? I really wanted a sandwich!! I knew this would happen!!" But the problem is that it is so much easier to seek out these other things out. The world's seductions are so easy to pursue. So easy for my weak flesh, so easy in a world that condones them. Though the other never delivers, pursuing Jesus is harder, takes focus and resolve. After the fact, I just can't understand how I could be so foolish. "How in the world was that pile of cash going to help me? I gave everything for it, and it doesn't even tuck me in at night. Sure is great to have this new suit, my fancy Lambo and the striking job title that gives me impressive talking points at the next dinner." But for what??!! Did I lose my friends to get there? Miss out on developing relationships, good citizenship, time with children or family. If those objects do not serve a good purpose, allow me to love friends, family, or my community better, what good is there in them? I certainly don't need them. Within myself, my own gluttony, greed and weakness for such things is my own worst enemy.

But sometimes, I find greatness in my own folly. For at that moment of dawning comprehension that this stick is in fact not a sandwich, when I realize how terribly I've behaved, great enlightenment can be found. I am given the gift of seeing the true nature of my folly. That this stick is just a stupid stupid stick, and provides no nourishment. That the luster of power, luxuries, decadence and prestige are fruitless in themselves and all of such things are doomed to perish, and I along with them if this is the pursuit of my life. And there I see that all that is in these things is emptiness. So for this, I am glad of my own fault, if only for the clear vision that it provides. That the only things that are lasting are those offered by Christ. That He is the only way to salvation. We are so very blessed to have a God who has instructed us that God IS Love, and minds and hearts capable of recognizing this. It offers to me such wonderful guidance to avoid my folly of the past. For when I seek and develop relationships with people, spend time with loved ones, pour my heart into a painting, visit a fellow parishioner in the hospital, pray for a friend, praise God's green earth by playing outside, work with a student to provide them with skills for a better life, or contemplate the infinite Lord above... I find Love. In these acts, I do not feel empty afterwards. They are not an ephemeral solution to my problem. The once held feeling of regret and misplaced affection is miles away. My resolve to choose Christ's ways is so often challenged. I do fail quite often. But through many experiences of something better, and knowing that I do not regret any time I have spent seeking, embracing and receiving God's Love through these actions I am armed with new strength, determination, and most of all hope in a more faithful and fultilling life in Christ. I pray that we all find the strength to pursue God's Love in our own lives, however they may be manifested. May we all seek and find the true bread of Christ's Love and redemption. Amen.