Saturday, April 23, 2011

In the Beginning . . .

John 1:1-18

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. What has come into being in him was life, and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.

There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. He came as a witness to testify to the light, so that all might believe through him. He himself was not the light, but he came to testify to the light. The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world.

He was in the world, and the world came into being through him; yet the world did not know him. He came to what was his own, and his own people did not accept him. But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God, who were born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God.

And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen his glory, the glory as of a father’s only son, full of grace and truth. (John testified to him and cried out, ‘This was he of whom I said, “He who comes after me ranks ahead of me because he was before me.” ’) From his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. The law indeed was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God. It is God the only Son, who is close to the Father’s heart, who has made him known.


***

Alleluia! Christ is risen.

Well, friends, we have reached our destination, and the destination is a beginning. For six weeks, we have, with some level of success, kept an holy Lent. We have walked with Christ from the Mount of Olives with Palms in our hands shouting “Hosanna” to the stony slopes of Golgotha shouting “Crucify him.” This morning, we stand before the empty tomb in “shouting” silence. It all begins again. “In the beginning . . .”

Today’s office reading comes at the beginning of John’s account of the Gospel as we begin a new season of the Church year – Easter. While these verses from John’s Gospel (1:1-18) are regularly experienced at Christmas, the celebration of the birth of Jesus, it is proper that we think of these words again at the resurrection: “In the beginning . . .”

With a little pondering on these words, the mind will likely enter into a moment of de ja vu. I’ve heard them before. Where have I heard that phrase? Of course I’ve heard it read here, but somewhere else . . .. Before long, our mental faculties will lead us to another book of the bible – one all the way at the beginning: Genesis. Do you recall the beginning of Gensis? בְּרֵאשִׁ֖ית This one Hebrew word (pronounced bear-a-sheet) is translated “In (or ‘at’) the beginning”. The beginning of the Gospel according to John draws our attention back to the beginning of creation – back to a time when all things were new. “In the beginning . . .”

As you reflect upon the Resurrection of Jesus Christ this day, think of how the Resurrection serves as a new beginning in your life. After a period of self-examination and self-evaluation, what new beginning awaits you? What part of your life will begin anew in the light of Jesus Christ’s Resurrection? “In the beginning . . .”

The Lord is Risen indeed, Alleluia!

Body dead to Sin Through the Spirit

Romans 8:1-11 (NRSV)

1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

3 For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh:

4 That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

5 For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.

6 For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.

8 So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.

9 But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his.

10 And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.

11 But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.


***

I was once told a story that describes the essence of Stoicism in this way:

A young man stands on trial before a council of Elders. Beneath the shirt of this young man is a vicious fox, which nips, claws and gnaws at the body of the young man. But being far less senior to the council of Elders and being at their mercy, he must find the strength to maintain his composure at all costs.

I used to choose to see life this way...often accepting life as a series of uncomfortable trials of my strength and will. Often I would seek out struggle and adversity to prove how impervious I could be to the challenges of life. Still today, I find myself in the midst of a great battle with sin. Choosing to do the things I should, instead of the things that are easy, or selfish is indeed a difficult feat and one I fail at often.

But this message that Paul has above to the Romans brings me great hope and I find great wisdom. I do not see a cure to the troubles and difficulty of Christian life. But rather a better path to navigate through these same troubles and difficulty. For this path to righteousness seems to be one that is not the hard and masochistic one I had once convinced myself to be the only way. Indeed it does not seem likely that the Father would ever have wished this to be the path for his children. But Paul professes a road to salvation borne of a focus on the Spirit. In doing so one does not only focus one's mind on that which is lasting, and fruitful, but I feel it manifests a path of doing right within oneself. Perhaps by doing this, by seeking the love of the spirit first, we will find ourselves dead to sin and choosing of right over wrong will not be so arduous. I certainly wish that sort of peace not only for myself, but for all of you my brothers and sisters.

Amen.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


John 17:20-26 (NRSV)

20[Jesus looked toward heaven and said,] “My prayer is not for [my disciples] alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— 23I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
24“Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.
25“Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. 26I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”


***

In this, one of my favorite passages from the Christian Scriptures, Jesus reaches out across nearly two thousand years to speak directly to you and me in conversation with his heavenly Father: “I pray also for those will believe in me through [the disciples’] message, that all may be one…” It’s pretty amazing that just hours before his own death, Jesus is not thinking only about himself, but about you and me, and how he wants us to be united with him just as he is united with God.

Traditionally, Holy Thursday is celebrated as the “birthday” of the Sacrament of Eucharist, wherein Jesus uses the rich symbolism and solemn occasion of the Passover meal to introduce an even more radical event of God’s saving power—the suffering, death, and resurrection of his only Son. From the time of Moses onward, food and wine were consumed at Passover as symbols of the Israelites’ suffering in slavery and their trust in God’s promise that he would rescue them.
As Jesus and his friends reclined at table to celebrate this most hallowed event and to recall the liberation of their ancestors from bondage, Jesus makes a startling claim—namely, that the bread they are about to share should be received as if it were his very body, and the cup as if it were brimming with his blood like a sacrificial offering. In doing so, Jesus is inviting not only his disciples but also us, for whom he prays so fervently in this passage, to share in a new kind of intimate relationship with God and each other—one which Jesus names in his prayer above as a “complete unity.”

Throughout our Lenten journey, we are asked both to recognize and to reconcile wherever possible the reality of our sinfulness. And if we think of sin as a place where our relationship with self, God, or others has been bent or broken, then we could say Lent is about acknowledging as well as attempting to reassemble shattered parts of our lives. But now, as Lent draws to a close and we prepare to accompany Jesus into the midst of his own brokenness, he speaks to us of a total unity, an unimaginably wholesome repair to our relationships, and of the divine love which makes such unity possible.

In the midst of such a profound appeal to renewed relationship with God and our neighbor, may we consider tonight just what it means that Jesus invites us, as he did his disciples at their last supper together, to eat and drink together with him. And, in light of Jesus’ own prayer on our behalf (“I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”), may we begin this sacred Triduum by joining in Jesus’ prayer for unity, emulating his example of love, and preparing within our own hearts a fitting place where he can dwell as one with each of us.

Father Save Me From this Hour?

John 12:27-36 (NRSV)

27 "Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me
from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour.
28 Father, glorify your name!"

Then a voice came from heaven, "I have glorified it, and will glorify
it again." 29 The crowd that was there and heard it said it had
thundered; others said an angel had spoken to him.

30 Jesus said, "This voice was for your benefit, not mine. 31 Now is
the time for judgment on this world; now the prince of this world will
be driven out. 32 But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw
all men to myself." 33 He said this to show the kind of death he was
going to die.

34 The crowd spoke up, "We have heard from the Law that the Christ
will remain forever, so how can you say, 'The Son of Man must be
lifted up'? Who is this 'Son of Man'?"

35 Then Jesus told them, "You are going to have the light just a
little while longer. Walk while you have the light, before darkness
overtakes you. The man who walks in the dark does not know where he is
going. 36 Put your trust in the light while you have it, so that you
may become sons of light." When he had finished speaking, Jesus left
and hid himself from them.


***

This passage is perfect to study as we find ourselves in the midst of
holy week. It is hitting me now as I write this reflection just how
fast this season of Lent has gone for me! I am feeling a bit guilty
for not keeping up with my Lenten discipline as well as I had
intended, but also feeling blessed and loved because I'm human, I'm a
"daughter of light," and I'm going to be ok with Him by my side.

I find that for me to fully appreciate the words of this passage, I
need to hear them through prayer and song. These few examples below
have helped me to grasp just what Jesus was going through as he
predicted and experienced his crucifixion. This is found on page 272
in the Book of Common Prayer:
Almighty and everliving God, in your tender love for the human race
you sent your Son our Savior Jesus Christ to take upon him our nature,
and to suffer death upon the cross, giving us the example of his great
humility: Mercifully grant that we may walk in the way of his
suffering, and also share in his resurrection; through Jesus Christ
our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God,
for ever and ever. AMEN.

I am then able to be inspired to take His challenge to follow the
light and know that I am not alone. This South African spiritual was
a song I sang at summer camp but it reminds me of how joyful walking
with God can be!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hm3SmokTXI0&feature=related

This hymn, "I want to walk as a child of the light," is also a
powerful witness to how we can be children of the light of Jesus and
know his love more closely.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL3o5k1J7L8&feature=related

I hope you find these helpful in understanding what is being said here
and continue to get creative with different mediums when you study the
bible.

Dying Grain Bears Fruit

John 12:20-26 (NRSV)

Now among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said to him, ‘Sir, we wish to see Jesus.’ Philip went and told Andrew; then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. Jesus answered them, ‘The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there will my servant be also. Whoever serves me, the Father will honor.


***

Here's what's hard for me about this text: I love my life. Rather a lot. And not just being alive, but I love the choices and details that make my life mine. I love the particular kind of tea I make every morning. I love the way I've arranged my desk and the view it gives me from my window. I love the friends with whom I've chosen to populate my spare time. Becoming an adult has given me the freedom to set up my life in just the way I want it.

I find the idea of sacrifice compelling in the abstract. It's more difficult in reality. My cherished self-determination means that I am always rationalizing away the hard choices. Surely, these little things aren't going to get in my way, right? I can love Jesus and have some chai, too. I can follow Jesus and never have to leave my desk. I don't have to trade my friends in this world for the friendship of God. Do I?

Maybe not. Or, maybe, I do. Sometimes.

I'm not sure I can quite hate my life, but I do hear in this gospel reading the demand that I love Jesus more. And that demand keeps rousing me from my chosen comforts. Where is Jesus asking me to follow him? What I do have to give up to go there? What good things do I need to let go of so that I can be open to something better? What's taking up the real estate in my soul that really belongs to God?

The thing is, it's never going to stop being hard. But it's never going to stop being important, either. And so I keep asking, and listening, and trying to follow. I don't know if I want to lose my life. But I do know that I want to be where Jesus is, wherever that is, however hard it may be to get there.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem

John 12:9-19 (NRSV)

9 When the great crowd of the Jews learned that he was there, they came not only because of Jesus but also to see Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. 10 So the chief priests planned to put Lazarus to death as well, 11 since it was on account of him that many of the Jews were deserting and were believing in Jesus.

Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem

12 The next day the great crowd that had come to the festival heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem. 13 So they took branches of palm trees and went out to meet him, shouting,"Hosanna! Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord — the King of Israel!"
14 Jesus found a young donkey and sat on it; as it is written: 15 "Do not be afraid, daughter of Zion. Look, your king is coming, sitting on a donkey's colt!" 16 His disciples did not understand these things at first; but when Jesus was glorified, then they remembered that these things had been written of him and had been done to him. 17 So the crowd that had been with him when he called Lazarus out of the tomb and raised him from the dead continued to testify. 18 It was also because they heard that he had performed this sign that the crowd went to meet him. 19 The Pharisees then said to one another, "You see, you can do nothing. Look, the world has gone after him!"


***

There is a lot going on in this passage: the crowds following Jesus and testifying about the miracle he has just performed in raising Lazarus from the dead; Jesus fulfilling prophecy by entering Jerusalem on a donkey to shouts of "Hosanna!"; the Pharisees plotting to kill Lazarus and complaining of Jesus' following. But in the midst of all this activity two subtle phrases catch my attention.

The first is the first verse of the passage, which tells us that "the large crowd... came, not for Jesus' sake only." This astounds me for how well I can relate. It is astonishing to think how often I come to church or come to prayer or community not for Jesus' sake only, but for what he can do or give: for comfort, for peace, for encouragement. And while these certainly aren't bad things, just like Lazarus' resurrection was not bad, I just don't think they're the point, but they are so often what I seek. I want the sign instead of what the sign points to, to put it in terms of last Sunday's sermon. It makes me wonder how much I'm missing in my life of faith, and to want to learn what it means to come for Jesus' sake only.

The second phrase that catches me is "Fear not." It is almost laughable how often this short phrase appears when God speaks, and how quickly I ignore it and keep on fearing. This world tells me I have a lot to fear - government debt, unemployment, illness, terrorism - but almost every time God speaks to his people, he tells (commands!) us not to fear. For behold, our King is coming! If we could just let the scary distractions of our world slip out of our minds and keep that in focus, how much less we would fear.

It is my prayer this week that we might seek out Jesus for Jesus' sake only, and that in doing so, we would obey when God says, "Fear not."

Jesus Cleanses the Temple

Matthew 21:12-17

12Then Jesus entered the temple and drove out all who were selling and buying in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the money-changers and the seats of those who sold doves. 13He said to them, ‘It is written, “My house shall be called a house of prayer”; but you are making it a den of robbers.’ 14The blind and the lame came to him in the temple, and he cured them. 15But when the chief priests and the scribes saw the amazing things that he did, and heard the children crying out in the temple, ‘Hosanna to the Son of David’, they became angry16and said to him, ‘Do you hear what these are saying?’ Jesus said to them, ‘Yes; have you never read, “Out of the mouths of infants and nursing babies you have prepared praise for yourself”?’ 17He left them, went out of the city to Bethany, and spent the night there.

***

After researching this passage for quite some time, the fact that I kept coming back to, that captivated my interest, was this: The "cleansing" of the temple, a delicate euphemism to describe the only violent act of Jesus, occurs in all four Gospels. A lover of charts and facts (it's true!), I have long been fascinated by the overlap (and lack thereof) amongst the stories in the four Gospels. It serves to remind me that we all see and experience the world in very different ways. What may seem critically important to one person, barely makes the top ten for another. What seems like a happy occasion, may have different consequences for someone else. But this story, this one was important enough for Matthew, Mark, Luke and John to all write about it. It stuck with each of them, perhaps for different reasons - perhaps because it describes an uncharacteristcally violent act of Jesus, whom we mostly think of as docile, calm, kind, understanding.The other three versions of this story follow. What strikes you most about their similarities? Their differences?

Mark 11:15-19 15

And they come to Jerusalem: and he entered into the temple, and began to cast out them that sold and them that bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the money-changers, and the seats of them that sold the doves; 16 and he would not suffer that any man should carry a vessel through the temple. 17 And he taught, and said unto them, Is it not written, My house shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations? but ye have made it a den of robbers. 18 And the chief priests and the scribes heard it, and sought how they might destroy him: for they feared him, for all the multitude was astonished at his teaching. 19 And every evening he went forth out of the city.

Luke 19:45-48

45And he entered into the temple, and began to cast out them that sold, 46 saying unto them, It is written, And my house shall be a house of prayer: but ye have made it a den of robbers. 47 And he was teaching daily in the temple. But the chief priests and the scribes and the principal men of the people sought to destroy him: 48 and they could not find what they might do; for the people all hung upon him, listening.

John 2:13-16

13 And the passover of the Jews was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 14 And he found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting: 15 and he made a scourge of cords, and cast all out of the temple, both the sheep and the oxen; and he poured out the changers' money, and overthrew their tables; 16 and to them that sold the doves he said, Take these things hence; make not my Father's house a house of merchandise.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Jesus the Good Shepherd


john 10: 1-18


10‘Very truly, I tell you, anyone who does not enter the sheepfold by the gate but climbs in by another way is a thief and a bandit. 2The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. 3The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep hear his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4When he has brought out all his own, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice. 5They will not follow a stranger, but they will run from him because they do not know the voice of strangers.’ 6Jesus used this figure of speech with them, but they did not understand what he was saying to them.


7 So again Jesus said to them, ‘Very truly, I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. 8All who came before me are thieves and bandits; but the sheep did not listen to them. 9I am the gate. Whoever enters by me will be saved, and will come in and go out and find pasture. 10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.


11 ‘I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12The hired hand, who is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and runs away—and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13The hired hand runs away because a hired hand does not care for the sheep. 14I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15just as the Father knows me and I know the Father. And I lay down my life for the sheep. 16I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. 17For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life in order to take it up again. 18No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it up again. I have received this command from my Father.’


***


If you are going to rob a neighbor house then be bold and use the front door and stead of sneaking where no one can see you.Help one another when someone is in need. Do not run away from problems that trouble you but face them and ask for help when all seems lost.Jesus is the key to love and aceptance by God. I will love and protect you forever.God gave us his son because he loves us and we should always try to do the right things.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Lenten reflection April 10: Joyful Suffering


Mark 8:31-9:1


Mark 8


31 And he began to teach them, that the Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders, and of the chief priests, and scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again. 32 And he spake that saying openly. And Peter took him, and began to rebuke him. 33 But when he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men. 34 And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. 35 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospels, the same shall save it. 36 For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? 37 Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? 38 Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.


Mark 9


1 And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That there be some of them that stand here, which shall not taste of death, till they have seen the kingdom of God come with power.


***


God is always with us, even if we don't hear his voice. We just have to be patient and keep on listening.


Lent has always been very important to me, and I generally thrive on these weeks of reflection and meditation for God to perform a deep realignment of my spiritual life- deepen my prayer, regenerate my spirit, and reaffirm his love in my heart and the message that I am on the right track. However, this Lenten season has not felt as fruitful as previous years. I haven't been keeping regular prayer; I've been distracted with thoughts of stress and chores unable to focus on my journey with God. Worst of all, I haven't been able to keep my Lenten promise.


It is a promise to practice 'joyful suffering.' A chance for me to realize that sometimes I need to suffer with Christ to fulfill God's holy plans. It is an effort to relinquish my need for control, to let go and realize that it is possible that God can do a better job at designing my life than I can, even if what he suggests seems uncomfortable at first. Many people have suffered for Christ: why should I be above such an honor?


To my disappointment, I haven't even actually learned how to 'suffer joyfully,' let alone practice it. And while I'd like to think we can all be successful in our spiritual desires, sometimes we are weaker than we imagine and don't actually reach our expectations. But the good news is, God loves us anyway. And He is there to help us reach our goals. God finally spoke to me today, when I stopped talking and started listening - "I love you. I love you just as much today as the day I died on the cross. And I love you even though you are weak and fall down."


It was just the reminder I needed to hear, just when I was about to give up on myself in despair. He reminded me that even when we are weak and don't meet our expectations he is there by our side. And He loves us. Remember that as He was walking to the cross, He saw your face. And He died because He was willing to love us, even with our imperfections. If Jesus could keep walking to that cross of death for us, then we can keep walking towards our cross of life with him. Let that thought energize us in this last stretch of Lent. Let it remind us that God is with us, and He's cheering us on in our journeys as we carry our crosses to his kingdom.


Pray: "Lord, I accept, as you did, whatever sufferings cannot be taken away. I trust, as you trusted, that God will somehow make this something good. And I trust that if you are with me, I can do it. Amen."

Sunday, April 3, 2011

True Bread



John 6:27-40




27Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For it is on him that God the Father has set his seal.’ 28Then they said to him, ‘What must we do to perform the works of God?’ 29Jesus answered them, ‘This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.’ 30So they said to him, ‘What sign are you going to give us then, so that we may see it and believe you? What work are you performing? 31Our ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written, “He gave them bread from heaven to eat.” ’ 32Then Jesus said to them, ‘Very truly, I tell you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. 33For the bread of God is that which* comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.’ 34They said to him, ‘Sir, give us this bread always.’ 35 Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.36But I said to you that you have seen me and yet do not believe.37Everything that the Father gives me will come to me, and anyone who comes to me I will never drive away; 38for I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of him who sent me. 39And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day. 40This is indeed the will of my Father, that all who see the Son and believe in him may have eternal life; and I will raise them up on the last day.’

***

What has touched me most in this passage is the distinction between the "true bread" that Christ offers vs. the other places sustenance is sought in the world. I find this vivid distinction quite common to much of my experience. Jesus promises us "true bread" and an offer of eternal life, quenching all thirst and hunger. I am so very touched by this, as I find that when I fall astray in my life, I so often find naught else except dust. In my weakness, as I seek power, or selfishness, worldly riches, or earthly pleasures I always find myself still empty and yearning for more. What I had thought would make me whole proves to disappoint time and time again. This object of my base desires, turns out to be not in fact what I had set out to find: it was not the cure to my ills, or even a the great shiny reward I had expected. And there I sit, confused, disappointed and filled with regret at my folly. For all that I found was an object in which I had misplaced a desire for something else...something far greater. "I was just so lonely, and really wanted to feel loved." "I just wanted to feel proud of myself." "I just wanted to feel like I'd achieved something great." "I was just busying myself to avoid my own demons." All of these have rung true at some point or another as honest motivations, though manifested in folly and the drinking of sand. I feel like a starving man, chomping on some dirt, only to realize wood doesn't taste so good..."What in the world was I thinking? I really wanted a sandwich!! I knew this would happen!!" But the problem is that it is so much easier to seek out these other things out. The world's seductions are so easy to pursue. So easy for my weak flesh, so easy in a world that condones them. Though the other never delivers, pursuing Jesus is harder, takes focus and resolve. After the fact, I just can't understand how I could be so foolish. "How in the world was that pile of cash going to help me? I gave everything for it, and it doesn't even tuck me in at night. Sure is great to have this new suit, my fancy Lambo and the striking job title that gives me impressive talking points at the next dinner." But for what??!! Did I lose my friends to get there? Miss out on developing relationships, good citizenship, time with children or family. If those objects do not serve a good purpose, allow me to love friends, family, or my community better, what good is there in them? I certainly don't need them. Within myself, my own gluttony, greed and weakness for such things is my own worst enemy.


But sometimes, I find greatness in my own folly. For at that moment of dawning comprehension that this stick is in fact not a sandwich, when I realize how terribly I've behaved, great enlightenment can be found. I am given the gift of seeing the true nature of my folly. That this stick is just a stupid stupid stick, and provides no nourishment. That the luster of power, luxuries, decadence and prestige are fruitless in themselves and all of such things are doomed to perish, and I along with them if this is the pursuit of my life. And there I see that all that is in these things is emptiness. So for this, I am glad of my own fault, if only for the clear vision that it provides. That the only things that are lasting are those offered by Christ. That He is the only way to salvation. We are so very blessed to have a God who has instructed us that God IS Love, and minds and hearts capable of recognizing this. It offers to me such wonderful guidance to avoid my folly of the past. For when I seek and develop relationships with people, spend time with loved ones, pour my heart into a painting, visit a fellow parishioner in the hospital, pray for a friend, praise God's green earth by playing outside, work with a student to provide them with skills for a better life, or contemplate the infinite Lord above... I find Love. In these acts, I do not feel empty afterwards. They are not an ephemeral solution to my problem. The once held feeling of regret and misplaced affection is miles away. My resolve to choose Christ's ways is so often challenged. I do fail quite often. But through many experiences of something better, and knowing that I do not regret any time I have spent seeking, embracing and receiving God's Love through these actions I am armed with new strength, determination, and most of all hope in a more faithful and fultilling life in Christ. I pray that we all find the strength to pursue God's Love in our own lives, however they may be manifested. May we all seek and find the true bread of Christ's Love and redemption. Amen.

Pharisees press Jesus for a sign from heaven


Mark 8:11-21

The Pharisees came and began to argue with him, asking him for a sign from heaven, to test him. And he signed deeply in his spirit and said, "Why does this generation ask for a sign? Truly I tell you, no sign will be given to this generation." And he left them, and getting into the boat again, he went across to the other side.

Now the disciples had forgotten to bring any bread; and they had one loaf with them in the boat. And he cautioned then, saying, "Watch out - beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and the yeast of Herod." They said to one another, "It is because we have no bread." And becoming aware of it, Jesus said to them, "Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes, and fail to see? Do you have ears, and fail to hear? And do you not remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you collect?" They said to him, "Twelve." "And the seven for the four thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you collect?" And they said to him, "Seven." Then he said to them, "Do you not yet understand?"

***

I believe there are two distinct messages in this reading. The first involves humans' constant struggle with faith despite lack of evidence we can see, feel, hear, or experience. The second message reminds us that our worries about food - or housing or anything we perceive as essential - are unwarranted. The Lord will provide and our focus should be on further recognizing God's love.

I personally struggle with the first message more than I care to admit. I often fight the "logical" side of my brain that calls for proof that the Lord exists. I have trouble fully dedicating myself to the Lord as my doubt and questioning easily overwhelm my faith. However, my faith and knowledge of Christ continues to grow. I endeavor to have a faith that is stronger, deeper and wavers less often. This passage reminds me that outward signs are not a precursor to a true faith in God.

The second message speaks to me on a less literal level. I do have faith that through the Lord (and, yes, I admit through self-sufficiency) I will be provided for. I feel fortunate not to struggle daily with concerns about where my next meal will come from or where I will find shelter. I realize many people's needs are this basic and I pray that God helps them before He helps me with my far less essential needs. However, this passage does remind me to turn my concerns and anxieties over to God - that stress and worry are not necessary as the Lord will provide for us all.